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A Practical Guide To Suicide Pt.2

II. Preparations

A. Introduction

When one is dedicated to the task, suicide will not be difficult to achieve at all. The major problem is internal, not external. Some degree of self-analysis, preparation for death, the reaction one will not witness but apparently cause, etc., is important since we are conditioned to regulate our behavior based on imagining the reaction others will feel in response to our choices.

Other than deciding on the method of self-termination, the practical preparation for suicide includes accepting one’s demise, how it will be effected, and one’s role in the social world prior to that event.

Deciding (or leaving undecided) the metaphysical issues inherent to the notion of suicide (such as how the cosmos may be structured, whether there are moral authorities who have forbidden the taking of your life, what happens to people when they die, whether it matters if someone has killed themselves as to the quality of any post-mortem experiences, etc.) is an important part of accepting the idea of effecting one’s own death.

Contemplating the likely responses to the type of suicide one has planned and the future development of the society in which one lives (i.e. how family and friends will react to the news of your choice to end your life, what, if any, repercussions there may be to the message your death may symbolize, etc.) is essential in the construction of a satisfactory suicide method and context.

Discerning one’s social role prior to suicide is immensely helpful in the precise delineation of the pre-termination itinerary. Whether this may include lying to one’s friends and family (so as to avoid being bereft of autonomy and freedom in a misguided attempt to provide ‘help’), the resolution of administrative details (like arranging for payment of regular bills and any funerary expenses that will likely be incurred by your survivors, etc.), or a fierce and fiery ‘Shooting Star’ termination in which a huge mess is left to those whom you despise or have learned to disregard, knowing how to approach the world will put those destined for death one step ahead of those who may wish to see that a self-termination fails.

B. Contemplating Death

Fear of pain is an important reason to hesitate when contemplating self-termination. We don’t want to become centers of pain—we want to terminate the pain (often psychological) that we may be feeling. The surity factor of practical methods is an important part of our consideration (which is why so much detail is included in the posts below evaluating methods, probably obvious to any who have seriously considered suicide before).

But what is it about pain that we fear? To some extent this fear is entirely groundless and irrational. Are we sure we don’t want to feel any pain at all, even for a moment when the grenade we’ve placed next to our head goes off? Flying through the air on the way to the ground, do we want to imagine the impact at high speed and the very short stimulus of every one of our nerves? Driving onward with our heads flying backwards after being lopped off by piano wire attached to the axle of a parked truck or the trunk of a large tree, do we want to feel the “awkwardness” of seeing the world suddenly go topsy-turvy, feeling an imaginary body and wondering where “we” are then?

This is why experimenting with pain-play and getting over a dread fear of it can be valuable. We begin to understand that it is a temporary response to intense change (whether this be the change of decaying and dying as we age, or due to some possibly desired “catastrophe”). Eventually it stops being the obstacle it was and we can decide on suicide with a clear will.

…the thing that kept me from doing it was not that I wanted to live but that I was just too fucking scared of dying. And it wasn’t being dead that frightened me, it was the dying part. The trip from Here to There. It makes me shiver right now, thinking about that night. I’m just a coward, basically—this makes me wish I were dead, but at the same time it keeps me alive. Same old stuff. :(

Maybe it was the method I chose that made it so difficult for me (hanging can be pretty gruesome if you don’t do it right), but I can see where it might be the same with a shotgun. I suppose that when your conscious mind is aware that you’re about to hit the Full Stop button, it’s gonna fight pretty God-damned hard to keep you from doing so. The actual reasons are probably different for each individual.

>I have often thought that the reason people commit

>suicide is that they care too much about what

>other people think.

Actually, that’s one of the things that keeps me from doing it.

…Most of us don’t have the first inkling about what death includes, what it will be like, and a great number of humans hope to mystically circumvent this extinction-phase of our lives (“termination”). So we become members of cults which dream about afterlives and pretend that we’re never going to die. the culture in which I live [US:CA] is pro-youth and anti-death.

I prefer to learn from works of art like Logan’s Run (though I don’t like the fact that the society there was dominated and death wasn’t optional prior to “degeneration”) or Zardoz (which, while a low-budget cult film, has wonderful things to say about how fucked up people can get when we try to avoid natural processes and instead try to avoid the beauty of death and its results).

> As significant as the fact that the means are easy and

> painless is the fact that there is no stigma or shame

> attached to suicide, since it is accepted (generally

> speaking, even if someone would not want to lose a

> particular individual to suicide).

This is an important premise to get across. Yet more than this should be the consideration of how death could be made pleasurable! What if death could be the ultimate experience a human being could engage? Pay a few thousand dollars and suddenly a whole circus of possibility opens up. Death during sex, at the height of euphoria; death while engaging all the nastiest (or alluring), most forbidden (or desired) pleasures of the world.

If there is no future which may be ruined, why not engage that which would otherwise harm or destroy us simultaneously? All the most exciting things which we’d avoid due to their risk and deleterious future repercussions would become options!

Recommended by a friend: cf. the book Cause of Death, which evaluates the exact processes of death without faux sensationalism.

Joseph T. Adams wrote:

> How does one go about overcoming, or at least

> temporarily “tuning out,” the natural fear of

> death, of the afterlife, etc.?

I don’t have a good answer but here are some ideas that worked for me:

• Drugs, at least some of them;
• Wait till you can’t handle the pain of being alive anymore and I’m sure you won’t be asking yourself such questions;
• Some music;
• Making oneself deeply depressed.

It took me several months to push myself over the edge (i.e. to feel like item 2) by using items 1, 3, and 4. I also isolated myself more or less completely from the outside world so I would have no one to think about when I was to do it. At some point i started thinking in circles and it wasn’t long before I wasn’t scared anymore about death itself. I didn’t succeed in killing myself but at least now I’m not afraid to die anymore.

This won’t help getting rid of the fear of the afterlife but since I don’t have such a problem I can’t help there.

Reading about suicide and methods can in fact make one become acclimatized to the rationality and realism of self-termination. Here are some book recommendations (boldface indicates “highly recommended”):

• Suicide and Attempted Suicide: Methods and Consequences, by Geo Stone, 1999;

From: anonymous

Subject: Re: Suicide with gas, Geo Stone’s book

Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 14:09:40 -0500

Frank wrote:

» …I strongly support Stone’s book, since

» there is a desperate need for more and better

» suicide manuals. I just wonder why he couldn’t

» have developed a few methods to the very detail?

» I would specifically have liked to see a

» detailed oxygen-displacement method, since the

» components for such a method should be available

» to most people.

• A Guide To Self-Deliverance, EXIT (Britain);

• Autodeliverance, by Michel L. Landa;

• The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath;

• Bitter Fame, biography of Sylvia Plath, by Anne Stevenson;

• Caring for the Suicidal, by John Eldrid;

• Death of a Man, by Lael Wertenberger;

• Double Exit, by Ann Wickett;

• Dying With Dignity, by Derek Humphry, 1992;

• Essays in Self-Destruction, by Edwin “Ed” S. Shneidman;

• Final Exit, by Derek Humphry, The Hemlock Society, 1991;

• The Final Months: a Study of the Lives of 134 Persons Who Committed Suicide,

by Eli Robins;

• First You Cry, by Betty Rollin;

• How To Die With Dignity, by George B Mair, EXIT (Scottish);

• Jean’s Way, by Derek Humphry;

• Justifiable Euthanasia, by Pieter V. Admiraal;

• Last Wish, by Betty Rollin;

• Let Me Die Before I Wake, by Derek Humphry;

• Letters Home, biography of Sylvia Plath, by Aurelia S. Plath;

• Mishima: A Biography, by John Nathan;

• The Oxford Book of Death, by D. J. Enright;

• Prescription Medicide: the Goodness of Planned Death, by Jack Kevorkian,

1991;

• The Savage God: A Study of Suicide, by A. Alvarez;

• Suicide and Attempted Suicide, by Erwin Stengel;

• Suicide: A Study in Sociology, by Emile Durkheim;

• Suicide: Inside and Out, by David K Reynolds and Normal L. Farberow;

• Suicide: The Gamble with Death, by Gene & David Lester;

• Voluntary Euthanasia: A Comprehensive Bibliography, by G. Johnson (Hemlock

Society)

• Wanting to Die, by Anne Sexton;

• The Woman Said Yes, by Jessamyn West;

• an article from The Humanist magazine, January-Febrary, 1993: “Death With

Dignity,” by William McCord.

Songs about suicide can also get you in the mood…

» “Something I can Never Have,” Nine-Inch Nails…

> There is also another great suicide song…

> from Marylin Manson; the last song on

> “Antichrist Superstar.”

> The Cure also has a lot of great suicidal songs.

The Doors’ “Yes, the River Knows” is another fine tune.

“Stay Together,” by a British band called Suede, is an excellent song. The lyrics are about what the title suggests and the song itself is about two lovers forming a suicide pact.

»> …”Alice in Chains” has lots of

»> suicidal favorites, especially on Dirt.

Especially Dirt on Dirt…

“1-800-Suicide” by Gravediggaz or “Hey Man, Nice Shot” from Filter aren’t bad, either. Both are on the soundtrack to Demon Knight.

> Morrissey, Bauhaus, Coil, Peter Murphy,

> Sisters of Mercy, Lords of Acid (If you feel

> like dancing first), Mistlethrush, Black

> Tape for a Blue Girl…

Morrissey is okay—I like “Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning”—but Sisters of Mercy suck.

Kristy wrote:

> Suicidal Tendencies’ “How Will I Laugh Tomorrow?”

> Suicidal Failure’s “When I Can’t Even Smile Today”

> Déja Vù’s “Feel Like Shit”

> Pink Floyd’s “The Postwar Dream,” “The Final Cut,” and

> “Comfortably Numb.”

»>…put the song on repeat so when they find

»>you, they’ll hear it. Sorta like an audio suicide

»>note.

» My suggestion is Sarach McLachlan’s cover version of

» “Gloomy Sunday.”

> Suicidal Tendencies’ “Suicide’s an Alternative” and Life

> of Agony’s “River Runs Red.”

> I’ve heard that there is a symphony by Mahler that is

> never played, because people get the urge to commit

> suicide after hearing it. Seriously!

Well, I’ve got one suggestion: the track entitled “Burn,” by The Cure, in the soundtrack from The Crow.

… as can films…

I know only one book really dealing with suicide, and it doesn’t have an English title (translated, though, it would be “Matilda’s Last Summer”). but Steppenwolf (H. Hesse) and Werther (Goethe) have left a big impression.

Movies about Suicide

10.Whose Life is it, Anyway?

10.’Night, Mother

10.Leaving Las Vegas

9.The New Age (largely involving suicide and “life-suckiness”)

6.Julian Po

Harold and Maude

Movies With Suicidal Characters

10.Lethal Weapon

6.Groundhog Day

Movies with Suicides

10.Full Metal Jacket

8.Shawshank Redemption

8.Thelma and Louise

7.Gattaca

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3

Dr. Strangelove

Vanishing Point

The Crow

My Name is Joe

Honorable Mentions

8.Dead Poets’ Society

The Deer Hunters

The Madwoman of Chaillot

Swing Kids

A Few Good Men

The English Patient

IMDb Search

After Darkness

Bad Timing

Brave

Breakfast of Champions (summary sounds pretty good)

Chattahoochee

The Cruse Oasis

God’s Lonely Man

The Odd Job

On Campus

Pact (summary sounds like an ASH party!)

Pump up the Volume

Zina

One of my favorites is a dark-comedy suicide flick, The End, with Burt Reynolds and Dom Delouise. It’s hysterical! I particularlly enjoy the part where Burt swallows a handful of every kind of pill from his mom’s medicine chest, with sour milk. He immediatly spews out the mess on a coffee table and remarks, “Looks like Walt Disney threw up.”

Oh yes, and not to forget the classic: Goethe’s Sufferings of Young Werther—after this book was published (in the sixteen-hundreds, I think, but I could be wrong), there was a slew of copycat suicides, where dozens of young men killed themselves with a copy of Werther in their pockets!

And for movies: Thelma and Louise.

C. Imagining the Post-Mortem World

Post-mortem fantasies (judgement by a deity, for example) are implants designed to prevent our being out of the control of the cultic group. There is no evidence for their reality. They have observable effects on human behavior (largely irrational), and can be countered by effective hypnotic techniques or a sufficiently long focus on counter-images or counter-indoctrinatory concepts.

Suddenly “becoming” an atheist or materialist-scientist, studying the popular expressions of this culture, the Skeptics, or their like, can have tremendously liberating repercussions. We may even find that, unloading all this shit from a repressive religious regime, we are now equipped to face life for a few more years (hopefully in service to nonhuman species or at least to ourselves) without all that Guilt Crap.

Also worthwhile is the intentional fantasizing of alternatives to the Nightmare Condemnation urged by these fanatics. I have, for example, imagined myself as being carried away by the shades as in the film ”Ghost” (but without all the Orphic, Judeochristian horror), lofted on their shoulders in joy and revelry, a Child of the Darkness, carried down into the Wombful Underworld as Prince of the Daemons, crowned and conquering, a Hero for Terra. This has tremendously liberative counterbalances against the idiocy of the Bogey and His Punishment that the Western Book-Slaves have created in the minds of impressionable and perpetuated as a meme into the heart of existential angst.

While I still don’t believe in all this post-mortem fantasizing, being a good Buddhic Satanist, I do find that, having some other comparable fantasy material allows me to categorize it all more easily than accepting some sort of Pascal Rap about how much better the choice is that I must make for the Yosemite Sam God than opting (like Bugs Bunny, my hero) against this phantasm.

I might just as well accept that I must make a choice for the God of Toasters or of Lemmings (here I come, ready or not, O’ God of Lemming Suicides! Yippee!!).

One of the more formidable obstacles to suicide is the desire to go on living.

This would include attachment to loved ones, activities, places and/or entertainments which we would (presumably, some people have very weird ideas, like about the “afterlife”) not wish to depart. I think lovers, children, sex, and wilderness are the most common attachments that keep people from ending their lives.

Lovers will become increasingly difficult to obtain in an era of continued compartmentalization and disease-fear. Children will eventually be restricted to those with licenses. And the wilderness will, unless we take steps to bring these liberties into reality sooner than later, mostly be inaccessible or completely obliterated.

Absent these factors, I think life will become drab and, outside the fantasy of media entertainment and the advertizers who will control those that view it, meaningless enough to inspire a great deal more to end their lives. Those with the capital will of course attempt to terraform other planets and recreate the relative Eden we have had until quite recently.

> people would accept suicide very casually. There

> would be TV commercials for franchised assisted-suicide-

> center chains (the “McDonald’s of suicide”). (And

> then there are these fringe “anti-suicide cults”…)

But what about the sensualist-death cults? You see, that is what I, in my queer CoE involvement, want to see more of: consensual human sacrifice, necrophilia, bestiality, cannibalism, perhaps combining all of these things in a religious ritual (could even be Christian).

» More likely: I’ll check in to a motel, when I decide to

» check out. Let the motel staff and the police take care

» of finding the body, cleanup, etc., and just notify my

» family.

» The only drawback to that is that I think a

» suicide in a semi-public place like a motel is more

» likely to result in a newspaper story, which might be

» embarrassing to the family.

> So why not go for a motel far, far away?

I did plan on going at least into the next county, 40-50 miles away, so it probably wouldn’t make the local news. If I’m really adamant about keeping out of the headlines, I guess I ought to plan on doing it on August 18, the day after Clinton gives his blow-by-blow account of his blows.

Great plan—killing oneself in a foreign country is the same plan which I have now. And, if you die in a foreign country, without anything which can prove your identity, such as a passport, they authorities in said country will be very confused as to your place of origin, or even who you are—that is assuming they even find your body. And why don’t you find someone near you who can send your already-written letter to your dad periodically, and that’ll be no harm to your dad.

let me out wrote:

> I’ve come to the conclusion that I could disappear

> without leaving any trace other than a note like

> “Don’t look for me anymore. I’m gone forever

The best way to disappear is to go to a faraway city, preferably in a Third-World country. If you’re in the U.S., go to Mexico. No passport needed. Make sure to leave no paper trail. Don’t make airline reservations. Just take a train to El Paso or San Diego, then cross the border on foot to Juarez or Tijuana.

Throw out any I.D. you have on you, then kill yourself. The authorities won’t know who the hell you are, or even what country you’re from. I suppose if it’s a border town they’ll assume you’re American. No problem, go to Mexico City. You could be from anywhere. They’ll declare you a John Doe (or a Juan Doe, more accurately), bury you in an unmarked grave, and that’s all. Then your shmuck relatives can ponder your disappearance forever.

> My problem is I haven’t ever tried to commit suicide myself; how do you

> try an attempt? I’m a little afraid, but I’m not afraid of pain.

> I don’t know how to try because of the survival instinct. I live at my

> parents’ house, and they are rarely absent—only for a few hours at a time, never a day.

Personally, I tried once, and got very close, but chickened out. I lived with my parents back then and therefore went to a hotel and took an overdose, but that’s where my nerves broke and I phoned an ambulance.

Getting away from the survival instinct isn’t all that bad. All you need is very serious feeling of non-importance of everything, and after that, you probably will have no problems with committing suicide. I personally avoided the trap by going to the hotel.

D. Considering the Symbolism of Death and Suicide

(How what we are fantasizing might factor into something we want on a deeper level than a literal interpretation, like a “death of the self,” “death to the world,” “death and rebirth,” and how these might be spiritual experiences.)

E. Lying Successfully

If you have attempted it before, others may suspect something is “wrong” due to any sort of sudden change in your attitude. Doctors and/or the media may have given them lists of “signs to look for that indicate impending suicide,” like sudden resolve, openness, desire to let go of past issues with family, giving away one’s possessions, etc. Read the if you would like to see a thorough list.

It is as important to us to know what will tip people off if we are intending suicide (or looking for people with whom to form a suicidepact) as it is for those who want to thwart our wills once we have decided that death is the choice we desire.

F. Resolving Life Problems

(Notes, relationships, debts, discontinuing services, body disposal.)

» In my opinion, a good Note should include the following:

» —why someone took the bus [i.e., killed themselves]

…I agree that, if someone actually thinks that they know why they ended their life (usually to terminate physical and/or mental pain or depression), then it may be important to include this in a suicide note.

> The second question they ask is, “Why didn’t

> s/he tell us before?” So, tell them [in the suicide note]!

Alright, I can see that this might be valuable, as long as one feels a need to conceal one’s activities (rather than to responsibly end one’s life by terminating/resolving all relationships). Again, it really depends on why one is killing oneself. If this is done to escape pain, then the objection ought be raised: why didn’t you take steps to ameliorate that pain through the ingestion of drugs or subjection to psychotherapy to “fix the problem”? If it is done in order to reduce the human impact upon a beleaguered planet, then there is no need to wait until death to explain the importance of suicide or why one might engage it. Euthanasia (whether assisted or undertaken by an individual) ought to be the birthright of all informed adults.

»> …what other solution one has tried before the final one

»

» unnecessary, but possibly helpful to others.

>

> And [it] shows… that it was an informed decision.

Not necessarily, since there are always objections to terminating life based on the held-out hope that “there may be a cure someday.” This is contrary to the notion that a person ought to have the right to terminate their life whenever they want in a dignified manner, and with assistance from the latest technologies.

»> …why this was the best solution/[decision]

Superfluous excepting out of compassion.

If one is intending to end one’s life, for reasons which do not involve other people, or one wishes to strike back at those who were unkind to oneself in life, then either refraining from any kind of suicide note or writing something very hostile will have an entirely different effect upon the reader(s). If one decides to end one’s life, this should be sufficient for those who respect who and what we are and our ability to make decisions about that which it is only our business to decide (whether we live or die; notable exceptions for dependents, but these can be provided arrangements in a will).

> My six points for a good note are inspirations

> for a note to reduce the pain of loved ones.

This may or may not be a desired activity…

> Other motivations need other points.

Revenge, martyrdom, catalyst of species consciousness. Suicide notes can be written for a variety of reasons, only part of which includes a clear communication of where we are and what we’re up to. They can also be made into a political expressions, final stabs of revenge from the grave at our enemies, a puzzle for those with way too many calories, etc., etc.

> How To Write a Note—FAQ

> I plan to write the FAQ on “How To Write a Note”

How about a standard A.S.H note? Something along the lines of:

Dear

• mother,
• father,
• lover,
• (all of the above),

I have done this which you see before you because…

• you suck.
• the world sucks.
• my life sucks.
• my job sucks.
• my vacuum sucks.
• (all of the above).

There was nothing you could do to stop me because…

• I had already made up my mind.
• I have been suffering all my life.
• I already threw away the receipt for the shotgun.
• you were too slow to do anything about it.
• (all of the above).

…etc.

Suicide notes don’t create problems. The problems are endemic to the society itself and its sickness about death. However, taking into account the idiocy of society today, and what ramifications may come from certain spins on suicide notes, can be quite important (vengeance from the grave, for example, or giving your family a break for being “normal”).

Many people take notes as communications rather than last words in reflection of what one knows one is leaving (like a review of a film one has just seen), or rather than poetry (unless obviously so, which I think would be a perfect type of suicide note).

If we can’t say these things to people when alive, is this part of the reason that we feel so suicidal? If so, then we deserve to say them as we launch ourselves into the Realm of Death.

Here’s my suggestion:

I, ___, being of sound mind and body, will kill myself in service to the organism who bore me. my sacrifice will relieve a little of the suffering and tragedy that my species is creating and serve as a symbol of responsibility.

I want my body to be consumed by living creatures, if possible, after being put to sodomous ends, in the fulfillment of my dedication to the Church of Euthanasia’s mission to reduce human overpopulation and reclaim the proper role and character of human death. having the presence of mind to become a full member of the church, and having obeyed its One Commandment, I expect to be made a Saint immediately.

(signed in blood or other body fluid)

If we’re really dedicated to dying and have the energy, we’ll change geographic locations, cut off and tie up all the loose ends of our relationships, resolve all monetary contracts and future obligations, and generally prepare in a responsible way.

> if I get desperate, I can use the shotgun. I

> just feel guilty about leaving a mess.

• Use a hospital’s emergency room; the personnel are used to cleaning up blood.
• Steal out to the wilderness where animals will devour you.
• Plant yourself next to a compost heap and rig up something that will bury you over time.

Subject: Suicide as a paid promotional stunt!

From: uncited usenet post

Date: Mon, Mar 1997

A jumper could dress in the company color scheme, have a banner trailing them, and yell the slogan on the way down from a landmark bridge (like the Golden Gate) or building (like the Empire State). Suicides could designate beneficiaries for payment, like life insurance.

G. Letting Others Assist

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Joining a Suicide Pact

A suicide pact is, generally, the agreement of a group of people who, having discovered mutual interests in terminating their lives, agree to secrecy about a particular (often future) event at which all those bound by the pact will die.

For those without the willpower or interest in solitary death, the pact offers a kind of community of self-destruction which serves to both support one’s goals and make more likely an attention to detail. Given the depression which sometimes accompanies suicidal tendencies, it is helpful at times to have comrades in word and deed to bolster one’s spirit and encourage the Final Act.

Enthusiasm can be an important element in a successful suicide. Apathy or depression can lead to oversight, error, and accidental self-betrayal (e.g., a particular remark might give relatives the idea you won’t be around for future family events and they might start to grill you about why this is the case). With group incentive, not only is there an addition of duty and loyalty to the equation, in that others are counting on you to help make their exit from life coincident with their desires, but the pooled resources of the group can overcome the limitations of any single individual (e.g., someone good with guns shoots everyone else properly before turning the gun on himself; someone without a lot of money can be given pharmaceuticals that all in a group are taking).

One of the most important detriments of a pact as compared to solitary suicide is that the more people involved with it the more possible it will be that someone will betray the group and inform authorities of the pact and its details. For this reason sophisticated methods must sometimes be devised so as to preserve ambiguity of details and preserve the integrity of those involved until the date and location of the suicide party are determined and revealed.

Pacts and Physical Methods

Pacts can assist in any method by virtue of their participatory character. It is easier to do challenging things in a group than it is to do them alone. Knowing that one is not utterly alone at death can be a comfort.

With regard to particular methods, again, those which require particular skill, such as a familiarity with weapons, chemicals (e.g., pharmaceuticals), injection devices, constructed suicide devices, or the like, can be assisted by the pact in that coverage by at least one individual who is a part of it makes the method possible to all.

A pact can also assist in circumstances where the context must be arranged (such as a large weight tied to the ankles) and this context may be frightening for the person themself to coordinate. Arranged (and consensual) killing of another may be easier to handle than selftermination. A single individual with the courage, for example, could bind, gag, and blindfold all others present, and set a shotgun pointed at the proper angle before each, triggered to shoot all pact members simultaneously and end their lives. Perhaps the triggering person would choose to die via the death-by-police method after calling 911, or be killed by the same triggering device (e.g. a bomb).

Gas and poison deaths can be facilitated by pact-making. A “monitor” can be appointed by the group to make sure that everyone dies comfortably, s/he being the last to go.

One of the detriments of pact-making methods is that they are not foolproof. Deception, for example, is a real possibility, from the scenario where a participant is actually a spy trying to thwart the group plan to the thief and murderer who wishes to kill the individuals so that s/he can plunder their unguarded estate.

One method to prevent against such problems is to recruit pact members only from within attuned societal organizations. Groups like Heaven’s Gate, the Church of Euthanasia, or the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement would be the most likely to be trustworthy. Having values and/or beliefs in common is a good indicator of reliability.

Other Aspects

It has been suggested that a pact group might be valuable as a kind of therapeutic resource. I recommend against this strongly, since as long as there are contrasting opinions which pertain to the subject of suicide this is likely to undermine the determination of the participants in ending their lives, and the purpose of the pact is to see this to its desired end. For this reason, it is probably best to limit pact group interaction to the preparation for, and execution of, the intended group suicide.

[I don’t know how serious the following message’s poster was…]

My name is Barry Norris. I would like to offer my services to any member of this group. With prior arrangement, I will travel to your home or location of choice and using your desired method I will kill you. I am prepared to use any agreed evil force to end your life on this earth. I promise to take you from your life and cast you away into the unknown. Your soul will leave your body at my hands.

The vivid terms come with some apology but in no other way could I impress on you the nature of my services.

Should you need it, I can offer you an additional facility whereby I “dress the death.” Exempli Gratia, the scene is disguised in the form of a burglary or car accident should you wish to spare the feelings of family/friends.

When, having carefully considered all the options, you are fully minded to take advantage of my help, please feel truly welcome to contact me.

I don’t know which one of you peeps have money but, the hired hitman method is pretty cool. It’s expensive, and you have to be careful about cops, because they often pose as hitmen but even if you do get a cop, s/he would be at odds with charging with you. Fuck ‘em—I mean we’re our own clients. No judge or jury would be able to figure out what to do. If you do manage to hire somebody, you get a rush every time you walk out of the house, and walking down the street you wonder when it’s going to happen. This method is far more interesting than that boring selfpoisoning crap, or car-exhaust shit.

Making it Look Like an Accident

Making one’s self-termination look like an accident in order to preserve insurance awards or maintain an image to family or others can be a tricky business. One’s lifestyle and geographical location can contribute considerably to the options which are available. Add to this one’s condition and the limits to one’s ability and willingness to deceive one’s loved ones, and the complexities can seem insurmountable.

The most important element to foster is a proven record of intentional survival. “Accidents” can happen even to those who may have previously been “merely crying out for help” in their self-destructive or risky behaviors. Do not eliminate the condition of surprise should you wish your motivations to be above suspicion.

Responsible and thorough suicides who want to make it look like an accident will study the symptoms of suicidal or depressed individuals. Introductory files such as those for helping and encouraging selfdestructive behavior can prove invaluable (an example of the latter may be found here, but it is by no means a complete study) in the identification and elimination of evidence to support your true motives. Familiarity with reputable mystery writers, and their works in prose or film (e.g., Double Indemnity, et al), can be helpful supplementary research, as can a small foray into ‘zines or more substantial publications which cater to the more abstruse technical details of mysteries or true crime dramas.

Certainly classic indications include a change in ordinary social behaviors, giving away one’s possessions, a fascination with the event or philosophic relevance of death or suicide, and a sudden increase in risk-taking behaviors.

The technical aspects of the accident are all the more important. Intentionality should somehow be ruled out through sabotage or isolation. Sabotage should be either unable to be traced or unlikely to be investigated, whereas isolation (e.g., being buried in an avalanche while skiing) should not be considered “out-of-the’ordinary behavior” for the the person committing suicide, lest it draw unnecessary and unwanted attention.

Pre-planning is always helpful, but not always possible if the reason for suicide is impending terminal illness or some incredible physical or psychic pain. Even quite peculiar deaths can be arranged, given a planned transition to interest in sports or events that take place in risky areas in which an accident is more likely.

Catastrophic damage is usually a better means of self-termination than some kind of overdose or poison, but certain physical conditions and their prescriptions can lend themselves to “accidental overconsumption.”

The problem with this latter method is the range of physical conditions which may result if the substances or dosages are insufficient to do the job properly. Damage can be a more reliable termination if one has the courage and intelligence to pull it off.

A specific method valuable to consider would be a fall from a great height, especially when surrounded by hunks of steel, massive projectiles, and moving at high speed. If flying an airplane is a hobby, for example, then diving into the side of a mountain in a storm could be an easy out. Many people drive automobiles, and these can easily be aimed off of very high precipices in canyonlands and mountainous regions into gorges of such impact as to render survival unimaginable.

An examination of “accident statistics” in a reference section of a library would surely yield other possible options. Of less reliable—but likely unsurvivable—value would be “slipping” and falling in front of some large moving vehicle such as a truck or train, though one may wish to consider the drivers of such vehicles, and one’s impact upon their lives.

Other types of “accidental” death would be the contraction of a fatal disease. Taking up the hobby of world travel (especially to backwaters and some of the few tropical regions) could quite possibly net the adventurer some virus, bacteria, or parasite that will do the job.

Developing personal hobbies such as explosives (like making and testing pyrotechnics, the collection of warfare equipment, such as grenades, or chemicals, such as nitroglycerine, or fulminate of mercury) can make one’s exit a quick and relatively painless experience, while simultaneously, if fostered over the course of several years, including a convincing cover for one’s self-destructive intentions.

Above all, do not leave any incriminating evidence behind. Communications or documents relating to suicide, or the best methods of self-termination, such as this posting, are good examples of items which should be purged before any sincere attempt to achieve an “accidental death” can begin. Think ahead and consider the aftermath of whatever decision you may select in the context of a police and/or insurance settlement investigation. Coming to understand the operational standards and legal parameters of these fields would also be of import if one intends to deceive their agents.

Date: February 21, 2000

> I read the article on suicide, but I didn’t see anything on

> how to make it look like an accident. Got anything on that?

The desire to end life without one’s relatives or friends suspecting that we’d had that in mind is probably most common amongst those whose family and acquaintances are emotionally-insecure and interdependent. Others may have moral qualms about suicide and post-mortem destinies of the “soul,” which they suppose will survive the bodily disintegration and, in order to “spare them” from this, or from feelings of guilt (“If only I’d known I could have done something!” they may say), we may wish to conceal many things, inclusive of the nature of our final act. Other reasons to try making it look like an accident include trying to leave insurance for one’s family. The number of films on this subject should supply very good ideas as a supplemental source.

The usual methods of concealment include making it look like an accident, and disappearance. The first method has attendant complications, since some of the suicide methods that will appear to be an accident could impinge upon the lives of others who may not wish to die (as when someone drives head-on into an oncoming train).

The usual way to fake an accident is to look carefully at the international news and consider the ways in which people tend to die. There are a great number of vehicular accidents, for example, and this is easy to fake but hard to be sure that it will be successful without careful planning and avoidance of chance survival. Plunging from a great height, or into a body of water, with the windows rolled up in an automobile, is likely to be considered “accidental.” Smashing into objects at high speeds—especially without a safety-belt—is moderately likely to result in your demise; in such a case it would be best to aim at very dense materials like steel and stone. Compare this with industrial accidents in which one falls into the wrong place “by accident.”

Risk-taking sports tend to result in their share of casualties which will be considered accidents, though survival becomes easier when one is participating in some common sport where others are likely to be present and may interfere by “coming to the rescue.”

Elemental exposure and disregard can be seen as an “accident of negligence,” such as when one flies during a storm, skis during a blizzard, or hikes through sub-freezing temperature zones (in which one might crash or freeze respectively).

Electrocution and poisoning are less likely to be believed as accidents, but if ignorance or absent-mindedness are common perceptions of the individual considering suicide, this may be an option. The problem with these are that they can be prone to painful results, sometimes even failure. Research into the precise voltage, grounding—or, in the case of poison, dosage—for body type and likely effects are important supplemental homework.

One of the most important parts of making one’s death appear to be an accident, aside from actually carrying it through to termination, is the cover-up of one’s personal life. Text such as that in which this advice appears, for example, is likely to be incriminating evidence, so to speak, as would any correspondence or expression indicating depression, focus on death, or euthanasia. Radical changes in one’s life, friends, or general behavior can lend reason to suspect “foul play” or a “personal problem.” Suicide-prevention literature typically contains lists of signs that one can watch so as not to evidence them in one’s life or leavings. Especially important as to the promotion of one’s end as an accident is the recent initiation of lengthy projects and the continuation of one’s ongoing affairs. This gives the impression that one had intended to be around for a while.

The Possibility of Failure

» Isn’t it the case that most botched suicides are as a

» result of attempted overdose which fails?

>

> Actually, it does hold the largest percentage, but people are

> impulsive, and a lot of them are actually people trying to

> get attention; spurned lovers, that sort of thing. Jumping

> out in traffic, shooting one’s self is the mouth with a (I am

> not making this up) .22 short (just ruins the roof of your

> mouth—blech). People who have not really thought it out,

> just want the attention, or to lay a guilt trip on someone.

> They generally do not get very much sympathy from the E.R.

> staff—we are sick of them.

> People who really mean it have set up closure for themselves

> and most of the people around them, and their houses are

> spotless. Everything is boxed, labeled, and there is very

> little to do. Most have even had the utilities shut off,

> and the last bills paid. These are the serious ones.

…and…

> Should I fail, I want the

> extra time to let nature do it’s work on me where I have not

> …say a rented cabin that will not be maintained by the maid

> staff for a week. Something like that.

Yes, that makes the most sense. Act preventatively to keep people from helping, rather than helping them to discover the body first.

One of the things I would also do is to post a sign on the door of this cabin, something like:

The interior of this cabin contains the body of a previously healthy , aged , who took life, and is glad to be gone from the world. Please call the appropriate personnel to have the body removed and disposed of per the desires in the suicide note to be found within. Thank you, and sorry for the inconvenience.

Signed,

Dying at Home

Often, one may want to terminate one’s life in familiar, pleasant surroundings; however, doing so limits the number of possible ways there are to die.

> What’s the best method to die in the comfort of my own home?

First, I’ll deal with the local environment, then I’ll list a couple of suggestions for inside the home.

Geography

Hypothermia

In northern climes, during colder periods of the year, hypothermia is a real option. Being wet, without clothes, outside in the snow for a good day or two will probably be enough.

Hypohydria

Near a body of water such as a swimming pool, lake, or ocean affords the weighted swimmer with an easy solution also. Tie enough heavy objects to the legs and dive in. Breathe water heavily until dead.

Cataclysmic Impact from a Height

Near to great heights, such as canyon cliffs, or in dense urban centers, where there are liable to be accessible towers, or very tall buildings, makes possible the leap to death. Landing head-first will more or less ensure success.

Cataclysmic Impact by a Fast-Moving Vehicle

Dwelling by tracks of fast-moving trains gives the suicidal an easy-out where there is sufficient concealment such that the train will not be able to observe you before you leap in front of it.

Helpful Home Remedies

Shotgun to the Brainstem

Having a shotgun makes killing oneself a snap. Aim for the brainstem; be sure that there is a good foundation for the recoil before firing.

Potassium Cyanide (KCN) Consumption

If you’ve got some potassium cyanide, or know where you can get some, then the following method may prove valuable):

• Take a small glass of cold tap water; do not use mineral water, nor any kind of juice or soda water, due to the acidity of such liquids.
• Stir 1g (or 1.5g, at most) of potassium cyanide (KCN) into the water; using more than recommended will likely cause burning of the throat due to the acidity.
• After about five minutes—this “waiting period” is important, as a chemical reaction needs to take place—the KCN will be dissolved and ready to drink (because it has turned into HCN). It remains drinkable for a period of several hours, but not much more than that.
• Once the concoction is drunk, consciousness will be lost within a minute. There will be just time to rinse out the glass (to ensure that no one else accidentally drinks from it—however, one could just as easily put a big “Warning” label onto the glass, or throw it into a corner or a fireplace, if one doesn’t want to take the time) and lie down. But beware—a person extremely weakened by illness might lose consciousness within twenty seconds.
• While in the coma, death will follow in fifteen to forty-five minutes, depending on the physical strength of the person and whether the stomach is full or empty (an empty stomach promotes faster death).
• During the coma period, the dying person will breathe heavily or snore, similarly to people who have taken a lethal dose of barbiturates [See below.].

[Hans] Atrott notes that with a person who is seriously terminally ill, death is so peaceful that often doctors do not detect suicide, and sign the death certificate as being from natural causes.

—Final Exit, by Derek Humphry, The Hemlock Society, 1991, pp. 44-5.

This is also the German Society for Humane Dying’s recommended suicide method, as related by Derek Humphry. If anyone else has information we can add to it, please let me know as a followup to this post.

However, this is not the method which Humphry finally recommends, because he is concerned that cyanide might not be fast and painless enough, having heard a multitude of stories about its effects. He has a whole chapter on cyanide of various types and it is worthwhile reading.

No, his recommendation is directed toward those who have a terminal illness (who may be in a weakened condition and who may have built up a tolerance to one or more pain- killers). Without the assistance of a doctor, he recommends ingestion of Seconal (secobarbital) and/or Nembutal (pentobarbital) combined with a plastic bag over the head to ensure suffocation while comatose.

Humphry’s focus on the digestive process is admirable, and he goes into some great detail about what should and should not be done prior to killing oneself via this method (Ibid., p. 110+).

Of particularly great importance when engaging in the overdose method (he says that alcohol increases the lethality of such substances by 50% and provides a good chart in the back which gives lethal doses of many pharmaceuticals) is the prior ingestion (an hour beforehand) of Dramamine to prevent nausea and vomitting of the pills. He notes also that one of the other problem of oral administration is that people will sometimes go to sleep prior to completing a lethal dose, and so suggests that one use alcohol to wash down a number of pills, or just a few while gobbling the rest very quickly in a pre-prepared pudding.

His recommendations about having a suicide note, Living Will, and Last Will and Testament are invaluable for those serious about ending their lives with grace.

> Can somebody suggest me a way to kill myself?

> I am disabled, cannot walk, can lift my arms just a little,

> and have no firearms. I am so tired.

The disabled and terminally-ill are the most prone to have serious desires to end their lives, based on their quality of life for the remainder of their days. They are also the most likely to receive help from unexpected quarters (especially the terminally ill) when attempting to secure reliable methods. Witness the repeated help of individuals like Saint Kevorkian and his compassionate response to those who wish to die with the assistance of a doctor. Today there are even opportunities for the terminally ill such as statesupported physician-assistance if one chooses to live in the proper area of the world (as of this writing, at least in Oregon, U.S., if not in Denmark—or was that latter Australia?).

Probably the most rational methods for the terminally ill which may apply to the disabled also have been covered by authors such as Geo Stone and Derek Humphry. The typical recommendation is some combination of prescription medicine—or relaxing substance like barbiturates—and alcohol, or suffocation. Obviously, disabilities will affect one’s access to this method, since overdosing requires an ability to administer the substance, but if one has some small use of one’s limbs then there is a good chance that this method is available to the disabled as well.

The usual method of obtaining the barbiturates is to approach one’s doctor and ask for sleep medication. Accepting this, a return visit at a later time is necessary to complain that the lower-power medicine which is usually prescribed for first-use is insufficient to facilitate one’s slumbers. The second or third visit, if the doctor does not prescribe some kind of barbiturate, the recommendation is that one nonchalantly mention that a friend said she was greatly assisted by some kind of barbiturate, and that you think this may be what you need also. If the doctor does not cooperate, you may need to get a referral to see another doctor who will.

Once you have obtained the proper prescription, stockpile these substances until you have acquired what you can determine is a lethal dosage (see below or consult a more reliable source).

The sources mentioned above indicate that some type of anti-nausea preliminary are an important part of the overdose, as is eating very lightly previous to the ingestion. Another important facet of overdosing is timing: choosing a place and a time when one is unlikely to be found unconscious (like in a locked apartment’s closet which one occasionally leaves, on a Friday) is imperative to success. If one is under prescription for any similar types of medication, then these should be discontinued for three or four days in advance so as to minimize the risk of tolerance resistance (with terminal illness this period may be reduced based on one’s debilitated condition).

Groups like the Hemlock Society do not trust the overdose method completely, and with good reason: quantities of substances as compared to personal resistance, due to body type, genetics, and overall bodily health, make ingestion of prescription medicines a variable which can have unforeseen consequences (particularly failure, and winding up in worse circumstances than one already faces). Pharmaceuticals provide information that is at times confusing to the intentionally suicidal, and this can lead to a botched job where it had seemed a sure thing.

For this reason, the Hemlock Society recommends to its (terminally-ill) audience the addition of a plastic bag to place over the head in conjunction with the overdose. In his book, Derek Humphry, the founder of the Hemlock Society, describes using a rubber band with the bag, like a kind of headband or necklace, placing the bag and band together in one smooth motion. Since this book was published the Hemlock Society has begun recommending that the bag be loosely fitted over the head with a light-but-effective weight, such as a pillow, over the flap of the bag on the chest. This method would provide a kind of double-assurance, attempting to arrest one’s breathing with chemicals while limiting the available oxygen which can be breathed in case the overdose doesn’t do more than render the individual unconscious.

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A Practical Guide To Suicide Pt.1

I. Preface

A. Introduction

There are sure-fire plans to kill yourself, but they don’t always factor in the character and feelings of the person carrying them out. This is why I have put some emphasis on contemplation and reflection in the Practical Guide to Suicide that I’m compiling: I think it is very important that the person him-/herself is taken into consideration, because any ”sure-fire” plan can be disrupted by fear, uncertainty, or just plain self-deception.

We need to devise scenarios for the typical experiences people are having when they are suicidal, like those who…

• …are sick and dying anyway and want an easy way out that doesn’t involve a lot of mobility

• …are depressed and can’t find the motivation to go great distances (as to procure barbiturates like the ones Final Exit recommended such as Phenobarbital);

• …are disgusted with life and want a way out that isn’t too painful, messy or likely to fail;

• …want to die for any reason and are afraid of being discovered, seen as a coward, or judged as evil by those one loves and is obsessed with;

• …want to go out in a blaze of glory, making a strong statement against all one’s enemies;

• …want revenge on some society, group or person, and want to use their suicide as a means of achieving this;

• …want to become an enigma or a media sensation, challenging the boundaries of narcissus.

I think that elaborate plans could be constructed for all of these conditions and desires, but certain combinations may be quite difficult to achieve (such as one who is depressed and lacking in energy and yet wants to go out in a way that would take some work).

B. Making an Informed Decision

If you believe that you have a psychological imbalance that is causing your suicidal ideations, then I recommend that you seek medical help for this imbalance rather than merely reacting to it by taking an action you may regret. Certainly, before the age of 23 it is often quite difficult to obtain a coherent perspective on the world from which to make the important decision to end one’s life.

While I may council people to terminate their lives and even inform them of the most effective means of achieving this, I am strongly opposed to preying on the weak-minded or disabled who haven’t a grasp on their personal will sufficient to make an informed and mature decision on their own.

> I continuously want to kill myself. I have tried but have

> never been successful. I do not know what to do…

Most medical (physical and psychological) conditions have been addressed with at least symptomatically-ameliorative, if not remedying, treatment plans that will likely contain a combination of physical, dietary, and medicinal prescriptions.

If you do not feel that your needs are being met on the particular schedule you have been recommended, get additional opinions (consult whatever authorities you think are trustworthy) and experiment with alternatives. Research what is known about your condition, supplement your knowledge base so as to become more independent and able to make decisions without the need of people whom you may not know well. The internet is a valuable resource (with search engines, for example) to accomodate your needs in this regard. You can also seek out local reference librarians, as they will be of inestimable service.

It is important to evaluate the following criteria:

How capable are you of making an informed decision that will affect the quality of your life?

How reliable is your emotional resolve?

Are you being driven to certain actions, or are you definitely choosing them with

careful deliberation and resolved composure?

How much deliberation time is reasonable for you?

C. The Elements of Suicide

> …it’s pretty easy to kill yourself, if you truly want to.

Technically, yes.

> I don’t see what the big deal about methods is unless you are

> trying to make it look like an accident in order to allow

> relatives to get insurance money or to spare them some shame or

> guilt.

The main elements are:

• Access—how easy it is to obtain the conditions and/or equipment;

• Efficacy—how effectively it works;

• Speed—how quickly the method is carried out;

• Painlessness—so we don’t have to suffer too much.

Access can be problematic for those with physical problems.

Effectiveness can be difficult to determine if we haven’t yet separated fact from fiction.

Quickness intensifies the ramifications of the next element.

Painlessness is important to quite a few people and is sometimes expanded to include the retainment of the integrity of one’s body for loved ones or in order to affect as few people as possible or represent an easier action to take—many of us are conditioned to selfpreservation.

> …I am terminally ill,

> and was at a bad spot and thinking I might have to do

> myself in because of the pain. But I am on an upswing

> currently, and also have better pain medication, so I am

> (hopefully) not ready to go just yet.

Access—doctors prescribe medication(s);

Efficacy—you can request more powerful drugs because they know you’re going to be dying soon anyway and don’t have to worry about the possibility of lawsuits;

Painlessness—meds suited to reduce pain may be acquired.

Speed might be a factor, as would dosage…

The other important area of suicide discussion is proper preparation. Too often this is neglected, when in fact things like cardboard coffins are available for those who want to go green or low-cost, and good plans are in the process of being developed for those who know they are going to die (tying up loose ends, et cetera).

D. The Empowerment of Accepting Death

We can be caught between knowing that we want to die, taking steps to accomplish it, and really just wanting life to be different, trying to find some way to escape or hide from it. Attempting suicide can be a way of shuffling the deck. No matter how much we may decry the control exercised over us once we’ve failed an attempt, we are the ones who got us there. It is a means of changing the life we are leading (abandoning control, which a lot of us want to do but for which are afraid of the repercussions). This is in part why some people commit crimes—to return to a controlled environment where they won’t have to face the stress of decision-making.

Knowing that we can at any point terminate our lives can be a powerful incentive. “Okay, now I can do anything. If the heat gets to be too much, I can push ‘eject, game over,’ and I don’t have to worry about the conditions I’ve created for myself.” To many this is considered “weak, avoidance, cheating, sinful,” etc., but that is just a human judgment intent on keeping us as their pawns, playing by their rules, condemned by their bogey gods, afraid to take the Final Power into their own hands and projecting this onto us as some sort of cosmic sin. After all, if they have to suffer in this shit-hole we’re making of the world, we should be required to suffer it too, right? They’ll say that we’re a “sore loser” or a “spoiled-sport” (their game was ruined) if we don’t remain inside their pitiful, finite game (cf. Carse, Watts) and submit to our position.

They are condemned to Hell in a life they deserve, and one’s power to end one’s own life is like a “secret weapon.” Remember those spy movies and stories? (We may pretend we’re a spy.) There’s always the “cyanide pill” if we’re captured or enter into a situation which may compromise our values and goals. If we condition ourselves to ingest it (something that these stories never talk about, but the spies have to endure it to break anti-suicidal conditioning)—that is, to terminate our lives—then we’re better equipped to attain anything we want, or to die after feeling that our efforts were thwarted. It is arguable that this is one of the strengths of certain Asian martial codes, such as bushido, which focus so intently on the death of the participant.

If we’re really creative, we may rig up a type of death which serves to accomplish something long in our wake, as is said of Jesus and Socrates.